On swallowing someone else's poison

While I'm in a good place now, I spent a fair amount of last week being angry, to the point of being unable to do much else but fume. I nearly typed "irrationally angry, " but I'm fairly sure anyone in my situation would have been angry. It was a completely rational anger. The specific situation isn't necessary, but the lesson that was reinforced for me is that you never have to put up with someone else's bad behavior. I have far too many people in my life who are holding their breath, waiting to see me fall. These same people have no problem tripping me if they think I'm getting too close to the finish line. To these people, I offer my sincerest middle finger, and a hearty "Fuuuuck you." It would be manageable if there was just one--you cut them loose, you go merrily about your business--but I am dealing with more than one and they're impossible to escape.

I'm irritated with myself that I allowed someone rob me of an entire week of peace and happiness. I'm done trying to get these people to see me as anything other than what fits within their tiny narrative. Willfully obtuse people who want to see the worst will only ever see the worst because they need you to be that "thing." They will protect it fiercely, always looking for the worst part of every good thing that happens, because if they have to admit that they were wrong about you, and that would lead to considering what else they might be wrong about, which in turn might lead to recognizing they willingly lead a sad, empty existence because they are too lazy or too afraid to take chances and become something more than the lump of cells they are. You're content to let life happen around you? To be a victim of circumstance and everyone else's poor decisions? Fine. But get the hell out of the way of the people who want to make life happen. And get your negative, critical, wolf-in-supporter's clothing voice out of my head while you're at it.

I refuse to keep wearing a coat made from everyone else's hang-ups. It's heavy and it smells bad.